Русская викторина! Russian Quiz
Привет моий друзыа! Сечас Русская викторина!
Hello, my friends! Time for the Russian Quiz!
I head to Moscow on Tuesday. While I head there, try this:
Describe three characteristics of Russian toilets.
Hello, my friends! Time for the Russian Quiz!
I head to Moscow on Tuesday. While I head there, try this:
Describe three characteristics of Russian toilets.
posted by Scottley at 1:19 AM
10 Comments:
1. no seat
2. no lighting
3. picture of lenin inside
Trick question - real Russians don't use toliets, they use the street. Every night, the government floods the streets with vodka, partly to clean them and partly to pacify the populace with cheap booze. That's why the banya is a necessity - no one smells good after a night cavorting in a fecal infused vodka party.
1. Toilets constructed after 1945 face westward (so you can continue firing your Kalishnikov at some future invading western army while you do your, ah, business).
2. Some of the old hidden KGB microphones still actually work pretty well.
3. Can't tell you. It's still a state secret.
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1) In private homes, bathrooms are two seperate rooms: the "tualette" and the "vannaya". Tualette only has a toilet in it. The sink is in the vannaya and so is the shower (usually). Sometimes, the only sink in the house is in the kitchen, so you just wash your hands in the shower. But toilets always have their own room, seperate from sinks.
2) In public restrooms you have to pay a couple rubles to get in and you have to do a little dance for the babushka sitting in the corner if you want any "toilet paper" (a handful of now-worthless soviet kopeck notes).
3) туалет! ванная! моча!
From all reports I agree,
1. no seats
2. Inspection shelf to catch poop
3. Instructions are listed on the wall.
From the hot tub:
4. If you reach behind the bowl you'll find a small gun taped to the tank, very helpful when you need to shoot your dinner guests, the Mafia stole the idea from the Czar.
5. There is a trap door at the bottom of the toilet to stash your stash, vodca, jewels and rolling paper.
6. This having been a communist state everyone shared a sense of equality, so often one can find a comode for two people to use at once while they revelled in their common discharge. Sorry
1) entrance fee - 1 ruble
2) toilet paper - 10 kopek's a piece
3) smell that stays with you forever - priceless.
Hmm, let's see:
Dispatch from Mongolia - "How to shit in Asia"
From Australia - "what direction does the water swirl in as it drains from the toilet?"
From Thailand - Picture of a squat toilet
From Russia - Toilet Quiz
Scott, is something bothering you? Would you like to discuss some issues? Cause "toilets of the world" is definitely becoming a unifying theme. I think the blog maybe more appropriately named "Out a Bowl with Scottley" :)
(I hope this post does not disqualify my previous entry to the Russian Toilet quiz. I feel I'm on to something there.)
OK, it is time to eliminate some competition.
gnuheller - you are a woman! Because, if you were a man, you would know that men do these things facing opposite directions.
If following you hypothesis, the toilets were indeed constructed in such a way, that one can shoot "capitalist enemies" while doing number 1, then the same person would have no other choice but to shoot his "red comrades" while doing number 2.
Scott, please disregard gnuheller’s entry.
1) there are plenty of toilets in Russia
2) All toilets in Russia are extreemly clean and perfect in every way.
3) The toilers are not connected to anything since they are only for show!
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